Saturday, December 26, 2009

Post 9-Confessions, Christmas, and a Cat



MERRY CHRISTMAS! HAPPY NEW YEAR! HAPPY HAUNUKAH OR WHATEVER IT IS YOU CELEBRATE!

A kind of belated Christmas gift for you guys that just happens to include a Christmas segment even as brief as it is.

As an interesting side note: We started writing this just about a year ago and we are now at 400 pages. I think we can say we've worked pretty hard this year. ^^

MUCH LOVE!

~Katherine & Mundell
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Eventually, many hours later, he hadn't returned and I gave in to sleep. When I awoke, a soft light lit the room and once I let my eyes focus I saw Rob sitting on the couch across from me.

He was bent over with his arms on his knees, hands clasped together, staring at me without seeing me.

I watched him waiting to see if he would acknowledge that he knew I was awake, but he remained still.

I slowly got out of the bed and went up to him. He still didn't look at me.

I sat down next to him on the couch and stared at the floor.

"Can you listen to me?" I asked.

No response.

I proceeded anyway.

I spoke slowly, carefully and somewhat hesitantly. I had to say this right.

"I know that I haven't...really shown or said if I care for you in anyway, but...you have to understand...understand my heart." I paused and looked him, he was still like stone. "It has been destroyed before." I continued. "It was dead, but you brought it back. And I've been so afraid. Afraid of getting hurt again, but anytime we've argued it's been my own fault and I've learned from it. And I'm afraid to trust you, to care, but I do so much. I'm scared to let you know me, but I want to tell you everything. And...and I'm afraid to love you, but I..." I hesitated to make sure with myself that it was true. "I think I love you."

He stared ahead.

"Rob, I-" I swallowed as everything began to close in and feel hot as the tears swam in my eyes."I love you with all that I am. And I'd never want to hurt you, and I'm so sorry that I did. Can you ever forgive me?" My voice broke and I had to look away. "If I've hurt you too much, I'll go away and never bother you again." I started to cry and tried to hide it.

"No." he said weakly.

He then pulled me into his arms burying my face in his shoulder.

"No," he said again, "I'm sorry. It was my fault." his voice cracked like mine had. "Don't go." He laid his head on mine as his voice fell into a whisper, "Please don't go. Stay." He swallowed hard before he spoke again with what sounded like a plea. "I love you."
 
Like electricity the words hit me and went through my body. Before I could process them, my body shook and I couldn't tell if it was him or I who caused it.

After some time we both calmed down, but stayed where we were. Eventually I looked up at his face to find his eyes closed, his mouth partially open and he was breathing softly.

I smiled and got up carefully. He needed sleep. Once I had stood up straight, Rob's face twitched, tilted to the other side, then went back to being undisturbed.

Walking away slowly I only investigated far enough to find the bathroom and shower. Deciding that that is what I should do, I quietly rummaged through my bags that Tristan had packed. I was relieved to find plenty of clothes and my soaps and, as a bonus, my large towel that I use for showers at home.

I gathered the items in my arms and went in the bathroom. It took me a few minutes to figure out how to use the shower, but I did. I cringed when it turned on due to the noise, but after a moment I climbed in, relaxing in the warm nearly hot water. Then I washed, my only concern being not disturbing him.

Once I was finished I dressed in jeans and a casual, but still nice, cream dress shirt sweater. I touched it off with a pair of white socks. Hair dry, I slinked out of the bathroom, peering around corners to see if I had woken him. When I tiptoed farther into the bedroom I found the massive wall of windows covered with curtains and the room was dark. Rob had moved and was now in the bed, still fast asleep and breathing evenly. Light was pouring out of the corner of the room and I went to it knowing that that was where the stairs had to be. I looked back behind me every time I made a sound to see if it bothered his rest until I couldn't see him anymore.

I was right about the stairs. They appeared right out of a somewhat small hole in the floor, the carpet continuing down them like water. They spiraled down in a small pillar shape down to the floor below. I held on to the metal rail as I carefully walked down feeling slightly dizzy. As the bottom floor came into view, I wondered if Robert had any cleaners or maids, or servants, or…whatever they were. I sure hoped he didn't, I didn't want to have to ask anyone for anything, or having to explain myself. I would much rather find things and struggle on my own without anyone the wiser.

It was much brighter once I made it about halfway down the steps. The same wall that was windows upstairs was downstairs as well, but open and bright with the rising sun on the green grass. A man walked by casually with his dog on the sidewalk, I watched him without feeling at all awkward. I knew he couldn't see me with these one way windows on the house.

I looked around to find this floor somewhat similar to the second as it was all one room, for the most part. The living room was carpet with a well sized TV that was set up against the wall where the couch was in the upstairs room. A small sofa faced it with a couple other love seats and chairs around it. I ventured farther going around the stairs to find that beyond the couch was a larger TV with an entertainment center. It had video games of all sorts, but also had a complete set of instruments for a band.

I turned to my right and wandered toward the stairs again seeing another entryway that led into kitchen. It was large and open just like the rest of the house with blue tile flooring. The cabinets and refrigerator were along the right wall and there was an island in the middle with a sink and a taller counter with stools. I looked toward the fridge again noticing a white spot against the dark clue out of the corner of my eye. I walked over to it to find that it was a note.

Help yourself.

-Rob

I smiled and opened the door. The first thing I laid eyes on was milk. Cereal, perfect. I searched the cabinets and found a box of Special K Red Berries. Once I located a bowl and spoon I filled it as much as I could and dug in, but eating slowly in case I unexpectedly went from being alone to accompanied.

I ate all of that then explored some more wanting something warm. I found a tea pot, a coffee maker, and coffee grounds, but the coffee stuff wasn't of any use to me and neither was the tea pot without hot chocolate.

Eventually I came across chocolate syrup, so I warmed up milk in a mug and then added the syrup. I placed myself on one of the stools in front of the island again and sat with my sleeves partially pulled over my hands wrapped around the cup. I was sipping it when I heard soft footsteps.

I glanced over the side of my cup to see Rob in the entryway. He walked over to the coffee maker and turned it on, then leaned with his back against the counter and watched me. I watched my hot chocolate swirl around as I drank more, glancing at him every once in awhile. He looked like he had also taken a shower and was now also wearing jeans and a light blue button up shirt that was unbuttoned with a nicely fitting white undershirt. Whereas I wore socks, he was barefoot. We minded ourselves and were silent, until he came and sat on another stool in front of me. He smiled.

"How'd you sleep?" I asked.

"Fine." He breathed out, looking somewhat like he was having to force his eyes open. "Did you eat?"

"Mmhmm. I saw your note. Thank you."

He nodded.

After another moment of silence I realized we had never completely finished our conversation.

My momentary calm vanished and my face fell into a sad scowl. I set my cup down and sighed. He looked up from his cup with slightly raised eyebrows.

I knew this had become an uncomfortable subject, but he had to completely understand.

"Do you know…" I began, trying to not seem stressed, but not too comfortable either. "Why I said no?"

"Because you didn't want to sleep with me." He answered, calm and certain, but sad.

I hesitated; somewhat surprised with his answer, pained that he thought that was the reason.

"Well, yes and no, but not for the reason I think your thinking."

He stared at the table top waiting for me to continue.

"It's not that I didn't want to. I did, and…do---You're a lot more tempting than you might think. It's just-I don't want to...yet." Was that enough of an explanation?

Rob looked like he was thinking about it while frowning at his coffee.

"W-when, then?" he looked up with a somewhat worried and embarrassed expression.

Okay…not enough then.

I sighed, but only a little, then bit my lip. "When…I'm married."

I glanced up to see his reaction, he had looked away.

"Oh." he said quietly.

I finished my drink, got up, and put it in the sink. I walked back over to him and hugged him from behind, putting my head over his shoulder.

"Does that bother you?" I asked quietly.

"No." he took my hand, "I find it very amiable actually." He looked me in the eyes to let me know of its truth.

I closed mine and put my forehead on his, relieved.

"Thank you." I nearly whispered.

"I love you." I choked out, barely able to speak as I was flooded with emotion. I knew I truly did love him. I really hoped he heard me.

"I love you too." He whispered back.

We spent the rest of the day mostly sitting around.

We had ended up eating breakfast really close to lunch so we didn't eat again until dinner time.

Rob insisted that he cook for me. I was somewhat scared.

I heard him fusing around in the kitchen and frowned, he had made me sit in the living room so that I couldn't watch him.

I had my arms folded on the back of the couch with my head on them. Every once in a while I blew air out of my bottom lip playing with a strand of hair that was dangling in my face out of frustration.

"Are you okay in there?" he hollered.

"Um…How does morbidly frightened sound?" I called back.

He laughed "Should I be insulted?"

"No, I'm just naturally paranoid when it comes to food."

"Paranoid? Of what? Poison?" he asked.

"No, just if I will like it or not." I said apologetically, "I'm extremely picky."

"Oh." He answered; I could hear the frown in his voice. He was worried now.

After another ten minutes or so he called me in there.

I knew my face was full of worry, but I wasn't worried about not liking the food, it was more about not being able to swallow it with my sensitive stomach and therefore insulting him.

Rob also had a slight frown, but tried to smile as I walked in.

Two plates sat on the counter and he was sitting where he had been before.

I sat on my stool, glanced at the food, picked up my fork, stuck it into a piece of the main dish, put it in my mouth and chewed keeping a locked stare with him.

I swallowed successfully and smiled.

"Awesome." I answered.

He smiled and began to eat his own with a chuckle.

The plate was loaded with cheese filled ravioli, boneless, skinless, chicken breast, and broccoli.

In between bites I told him how convenient it was that he happened to choose the things I was the most consistent in my diet: starch, cheese, chicken, and broccoli.

He laughed along with the irony.

We finished our meal every once in a while letting out a burst of giggles.

We went into the living room and sat on the couch after I demanded that I wash the dishes.

The television was on, but neither of us was really watching. I was so amazed by how real he was sitting next to me, with his arm around my shoulders. I knew these kinds of things didn't really happen, and yet it was happening to me. This strange, erratic, unpredictable man was with me and wanting me there. He wasn't perfect by far, but that's hardly something anyone could expect, but he seemed like he really wanted to try.

I looked at his face, half expecting it to no longer be there even though I could feel his body. His eyes were distant, face blank, when suddenly a smile slowly appeared as though he was pleased with a thought he just had. I wanted to ask him what appealed to him so much, but I didn't want to break this peace we were in. So, I left it alone.

The program that was on the TV ended and a yawn escaped from me.

Rob checked the time.

"It is a bit late. Maybe you should go to sleep." he said glancing down at me, my head was in his lap.

"What time is it?" I asked, stifling another yawn.

"Ten thirty." he took my hand that he was holding and put it to his neck.

That was later than I usually stayed up, but did any of that count now?

"Are you tired." by then he had moved my wrist to his lips.

"Well," he said breaking his trance. "I slept in this morning."

"Yes, but you didn't sleep all night." I reminded him.

"That's true." he agreed "I should probably catch up then. You go now and I'll go to bed soon."

"Okay." I sat up and stretched, then I turned on my knees and wrapped my arms around his neck putting our foreheads together again.

He stroked my cheekbone with his thumb while smiling at me.

I smiled back then kissed him lightly and went upstairs.

I dressed in my pajamas and curled up in the bed in the same place that I had the night before. I felt drowsy, but didn't pass into the void of sleep.

It was some time later when Rob came in. He came to the other side of the bed without speaking and reached for a pillow.

"What are you doing?" I asked with a thick tongue.

He looked at me surprised, almost as if I startled him.

"Getting a pillow..." he stared at me with wide eyes, "to sleep on the couch."

"Don't be silly." I frowned at him. "We can share the bed, just as long as you promise to behave yourself." I reached for him with my hand.

"Are you sure that's okay?" he asked hesitating.

"Again, that depends on if you behave." I smiled.

I took his wrist and began to pull him down on the bed. He didn't break my gaze as if unsure, but obeyed.

Rob lay down on his side facing me with a frightened look on his face, his arms close to his body as if he were uncomfortable.

I scooted closer and reached up, gently kissing the hollow of his throat. Then I turned over and left him alone.

The silence was worse in the dark and the energy swirling in between us burned my back forcing me awake and making my body stiffen. It continued on for what seemed like hours.

"Would it be immature...." Rob began in the dark. "If I started a pillow fight?"

I bit my cheek trying to stop my laughter.

"Yes," I answered grabbing a hold of the pillow under my head, "but who says we have to mature...all the time."

I nearly flipped myself into the air as I swung. Our pillows collided in between us and the battle began.

We went from sitting to standing and multiple times nearly falling off of the bed, laughter erupting from us all the while.

I grabbed one end of his pillow in my fist and twisted myself into it and into his arms and pulled on it.

"Hey! That's cheating!" he protested.

"Nope," I tugged harder, "No one set any rules." Then I yanked it out of his grip.

He stumbled a moment then I began hitting him with both pillows. He sank to the bed while laughing as I beat him into submission. We then both stayed there laughing so hard that we could hardly breathe.

Rob's hand wrapped around my ankle and he pulled it out from under me making me fall onto the bed with a gasp. I continued to laugh in my throat as he crawled over to me. With his head over me, he reached up and intertwined his fingers in mine next to my head. He gently touched my neck with a lingering kiss.

The tensing energy was back and the smile disappeared from my lips.

I took his face in my hand and brought to where I could see it. He looked back at me with his eyes sparkling.

"Is this enough?" I asked.

His expression broke for a minute and then he wrapped his arms around my waist and rolled to his side holding me to him. He left one arm around me and held my head to him with the other.

"Yes," he whispered into my ear. "This is more than enough."

Rob kissed me softly. I felt no threat at all, only tenderness and eventually our eyes closed for the night.
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I plopped down on the couch and swung my legs up over Katie's lap. Leaning back I rested my back against Joe. "So… What are we going to do for Christmas?"

Katie smiled. "I might be spending it with Rob."

I sighed. "My best friend got a boyfriend and now she'd to good to spend time with me…" I pouted out my lip and tried to be serious before I finally started laughing. "Just kidding Katie. That's cool."

The phone rang. "I'll get it." Katie jumped up.

I looked back at Joe. "So. What are you guys doing?"

"We have a performance down in L.A. Then we were just going to hang out down there. What are you doing Christmas eve?" He took my hand in his and stared at it.

"Well, I…" I looked up at him confused as he turned my hand over and traced my palm. "What are you doing?"

"Oh…" He turned my hand over again. "Just thinking."

"Of what?"

He looked back at me. "About what you're doing Christmas eve."

Smiling back I said, "I don't have any plans."

Joe looked deep into my eyes. "Ok." He said softly.

"What does that mean?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

Softly he kissed my forehead. "Nothing."

It was obvious he was up to something. But it didn't seem bad, and I had decided if I tried to catch him every time he was up to something, I would have to devote every hour of my day to it. So I just smiled and leaned my head on his shoulder.

Katie came back then and I raised my legs up as she plopped back down on the couch. She had my camera in her hands and a sly smile on her face.

I gave her a look that clearly said what are you doing but she just leaned over and said "Smile!"

For at least the next ten minutes the three of us laughed as we snapped different pictures of us. When we were done I had a good forty pictures on my camera.
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Rob and I sat on the couch while Joe and Tristan were in the kitchen. I was half turned around looking over the back of the couch and straining to see into the kitchen. I was really wondering what they were doing in there.

I sighed in frustration and plopped back down facing forward and Rob smiled at me. I smiled back, but was interrupted by a jingle.

Tristan's cat, Tia, was walking in front of the couch relatively close to our feet. She sat in front of my feet, looked at me, and meowed.

"Hi Ti-ti." I said softly, reaching out and starting to pet her head with my fingers.

She moved her head into my hand and began to purr softly.

"That's a cat." Rob said.

I laughed. "Yes, it is."

Tia jumped away suddenly for no reason at all other than that she was done.

"Or was…." I muttered.

"Where did she come from?" Rob asked, sounding very confused.

"Nowhere. She's Tristan's cat, Tia." I looked at him strangely. Had he never known about Tia this whole time?

"Tristan has a cat?!" Rob was truly shocked.

My laughing was starting to get louder as I realized what was going on.

"Oh! I get it. She's finally warming up to you Rob!" I patted him on the shoulder. "It took her a few years to warm up to me."

I started laughing again. I couldn't help it.

"Tristan!" I hollered with my hysterics. "He just saw Tia for the first time!"

Her guffaw erupted from the kitchen and I settled on the couch again, leaning onto Rob's arm and laying my head on his shoulder as my amusement began to die down.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

And the Trumpets Sound!

WE ARE NOW AT FOUR HUNDRED PAGES, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 400!!!!

Having a little celebration. ^^

So, hope everyone is having a Merry, Happy Christmas, New Year, Hanukah, etc etc etc.

Lots of Love!

-Katherine & Mundell

Friday, December 18, 2009

Part 8-New Flames

<---Previously


It seemed that some of the best things in my life had the worst flaws.

That's what I was thinking about as Rob stood outside in the back yard smoking a cigarette.

He was doing well with the drinking and other things, he just hadn't gotten to that one yet. I couldn't find myself feeling grateful for the things he had already given up because I wasn't sure if the one that remained was worse than the others combined. I didn't know which I feared more. I could almost hear the ticking increase as his time speed by, or decreased with each drag.

I fought back the tears as the terror once again nearly overwhelmed me. I could never let him see that. I was positive it would lead him to think that he could never be good enough for me.

Could he ever be?

I immediately shook that thought away. He was more than that; he was good enough, except for that.

Tristan walked in, my one exception, and I gratefully took her a tight embrace. She mercifully hugged me back and we stood there holding each other for a few moments and I knew she understood without me having to utter a word.

I pulled away and put a smile on my face. I had to be good.

I made myself look again toward Rob keeping the expression. He had put the cigarette out and was reaching for his guitar. Sitting down on the porch bench he began to play.

I rubbed Tristan's arm and turned away from her, walking over to the glass door and sitting against it, so that I could hear better, but without having to smell the smoke.

After a few moments his voice joined in with the strings and it didn't warm my heart as much as it did closer to my ear, a sheet of glass between us.
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I adjusted the phone on my shoulder and laid my books on the table. "Ya. I have the next four months off of school."

"No homework then." Joe said.

"Nope. And Katie left after school today. I have the house to myself."

There was muffled laughter on the other end of the line. "Well for now anyway."

"You planning on changing that then?" I asked.

"Well… maybe. Ok then. Well bye." The phone abruptly went dead.

"Joe?"

There was no answer and then the dial tone started. He hung up on me. I tossed the phone onto the couch and headed to my room. My sweats and an old t-shirt lay on my dresser.
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Joe had fallen asleep next to me. His breathing was light and his face was completely relaxed and peaceful. Around me his arms tightened and he absent mindedly pulled me in closer with a sigh.

I smiled as I watched him sleeping. All I could think of was how much he looked like an angel laying there with me. Gently I reached up and touched his face, reassuring myself this was real, he was real. With my fingertips I traced his jaw line then slowly ran my hand down his neck. I closed my eyes and leaned into him, resting my ear to his chest.

The soft, constant lull of his heart beat was soothing and I soon found my eyes too heavy to keep open. At that moment there was nowhere else I could possibly ever want to be, than there, in his arms, listing to his heart beating.

When I woke up Joe was softly stroking my hair. I shifted my face a bit, nuzzling him softly. "Hi." I said quietly into his chest.

"Hi." He said back, kissing the top of my head. "How'd you sleep?"

I sighed. "Great. You?"

"Never slept better."

"How long have you been up?"

He turned and looked at the clock. "An hour or so."

"What?" I sat up a bit. "An hour? Why didn't you wake me?"

"I liked watching you sleep." He smiled as if he was admitting something.

I smiled softly back at him. "You fell asleep before me and I spent some time watching you sleep too."

He reached up and ran his finger down my nose, traced the side of my mouth, and took my chin between his thumb and forefinger. Slowly he propped himself up on his other elbow, bringing his face close to mine.

"You know what?" He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine.

I sighed and closed my eyes. Our lips parted and I asked, "What?"

He kissed me again. Then he pulled away and looked me in the eyes. Finally, he took a deep breath and smiled, "I love you."

My heart nearly exploded. It beat so hard against the inside of my chest I thought it would bruise my ribs. I searched his face for a moment, hoping, for once, not to find a joke.

"I love you, too." I almost whispered. Brushing a piece of hair from his face I leaned in and kissed his forehead.

Playfully he swung his head around and kissed me on the lips. Fiercely, I kissed him back, weaving my fingers into his hair. After a moment I pulled back and, smiling, looked at him. I rested my forehead against his as he chuckled softly.
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College. If I thought high school was bad this was an endless pit of everything disgusting in the world.

Finally it was the last day of term, last class, last three minutes! I would have the next four months free of their ridiculous and tedious standards and homework. I also didn't have to work until after the holidays. I had the intentions to make extensive plans in this free time.

Almost everyone in our entourage was pretty close to being completely free in this time as well. Robert had just finished with all of the hoophla of releasing another film. He had been gone a long time. The "J" Boys, as I now often referred to them as, had time off to be with their family the last couple of weeks and Tristan had the same amount of time off as me.

But I hadn't heard from anyone.

The bell rang and I gathered my things absent-mindedly walking out the door.

A second after I passed the doorframe something black and thick was thrown over my face and I was pulled into someone's arms.

"Not too loud now darling." Came a muffled, but familiar voice in my ear.

I smiled to myself as there was a sudden warmth inside me.

My vision returned and Robert turned me around.

I had been expecting to see his face but I was met with a completely black mass where his head should have been. It took me a second to realize that he was just wearing a helmet. There was a spot of light and I was able to see his blaring smile through the tinted glass.

I smiled softly, "Hello."

I knew that now wasn't the time for more sensual greetings.

Robert handed me what he had covered my face with. It was a leather jacket that was similar to the one that he was currently wearing.

"Oh." I understood.

He chuckled and took my hand and towed me out to the parking lot and sure enough there sat a sleek black motorcycle.

I let out a nervous breath as he handed me a helmet.

"What? Are you scared?" he teased.

"A little." I admitted. "We are just going to my house on this thing right?"

He laughed. "For now." he said.

"Great." I said sarcastically.

"Put on your jacket, it's cold." he said as he swung his leg over.

I stayed put just watching him for a minute. He had no clue how attractive he looked sitting on that thing.

"Come on!" he said excitedly and started the engine.

I sighed again. Closing my eyes as I put on the jacket and helmet trying to calm my nerves a little.

I clambered on.

"That's my girl." he muttered, then revved the engine.

I wrapped my arms tightly around his warm waist, grateful that out of a lot of girls in this world that would have gone plenty further than murder and all those that could be in my place, that I was the one with my arms around him. "...my girl." he'd said.

We got to my place and I got off, leaving my helmet on the seat and went to unlock the door.

He followed after me and as soon as the door closed I was on him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. It felt so amazingly fresh after him being gone for so long. He kissed me back for a moment then pulled away.

"There will be more time for that later, right now we have to hurry."

"Why?" I asked not letting him go anywhere.

"We need to get to L.A. before dark." he answered.

"Why?" I said again, sounding a little more perplexed and a little more like an annoying toddler.

"I'm kidnapping you for the weekend at my place." He gave a menacing grin.

"Should I be afraid?"

"Oh, yes." he taunted, putting his lips to my throat. "Very afraid." he murmured into my skin, grazing my neck with his teeth.

Robert pulled away again before my senses had registered his movement. My eyes had been closed and a shiver went up my spine.

"So, do I need to pack?" my voice was stronger than I had expected it to be.

"No, I asked Tristan to do that earlier today. Your things will get there a few hours before us. You just need to leave your school things."

"Oh."

"So go!" he pushed me towards my room.

I laughed at him.

I quickly did as he said and rushed out the door with him.

"We're riding the bike all the way to L.A.?" I asked in horror.

"Yup. Zip up your jacket and hold on tight." he kissed my hand he'd been holding and let it drop so that I could get a good hold on him.

It was a long drive, but I couldn't really say that it was boring. We didn't get to speak, but I was able to be completely aware of his presence and his physical being. I also wondered what he had planned for us while we were there. Maybe some quality time by a fire on a sofa. I would accept practically anything as long as I could feel him.

The sun was just hitting the horizon as we sped into the hills outside of the city.

Robert drove into a driveway in front of a house surrounded by green grass. The walls, for a moment, also looked green until I realized the walls were made of a reflective glass.

The garage door opened in front of us. He must have had a button. As it started to close again once we were inside, I got off, removed the helmet, yawned and stretched.

Robert was walking around a little. I looked at him as he looked around the garage then at his watch. His eyes finally rested on me, I grinned at him, and he smiled softly.

"Close your eyes." he sounded excited about something.

I obeyed and waited. He took my wrists and began pulling me forward.

"Don't worry, I'll guide you." he said.

I laughed softly. "Okay, I trust you."

He led me, as he said, through mysterious halls, telling me when to step and keeping me out of harm's way. Anytime he spoke his voice echoed, so I assumed that the inside of the house was pretty spacious, but that was all I could tell about it.

After we made it slowly up some stairs, we walked a little farther and then he stopped me.

"Keep them closed." he urged.

I gave a fake sigh, "Okay."

He released me and I let my arms fall to my sides. I heard the sound of rustling fabric and my eyebrows furrowed. What was he doing?

"Alright," his voice was suddenly behind me, "You can open them now." I could hear his smile.

I opened my eyes and instantly gasped; my hands slowly went to my mouth. We were on the second floor standing in front of the wall that was all windows, looking at the most amazing sunset I have ever seen. Pink, yellow, and orange light flooded the area for miles, making everything glow.

"Oh my-" I whispered through my hands making my voice muffled.

Robert was suddenly there his hands on my wrists lowering them and entangling them with his own wrapping them around my waist.

"It's so beautiful." I whispered to him.

His lips were by my cheek, "The sunset? That's nothing."

I looked at him; he was staring back at me with a smile so content and happy, his eyes gleamed with pride.

A feeling came over me then. I was sure I'd felt it before, but no name came to me.

My heart had been revived, I knew that, but maybe it hadn't just been brought back to life. Maybe it had been reborn.

A breeze blew around the spark and it fed on it. It was something it had had before, but the first time it hadn't expected it. It hadn't known it was coming this time either, it didn't expect it to come again, but this time it knew what it was. It knew and wanted, no needed more. More oxygen. It was alive, but not living. Suddenly, it felt a strong wind coming. It wanted it, but it was so strong. It was afraid. Would this wind be enough to bring it back to a breathing flame or would it run it over, smother it, blow it out forever?

Robert kissed my head gently; the warmth of his lips lingered on my skin.

"It really is no comparison." he said as if continuing and not a second had passed. Had a second passed?

He turned me around and I stayed locked in his eyes. He forced me to walk back until I met the glass. Then he backed away a few steps studying me against the sky.

It was only then, when he stood apart from me, that I realized his chest was bare. That was different.

My eyes flashed to his face, he looked amused.

"I guess I am grateful though." he muttered. "The color of the light makes you even more beautiful."

It was somewhat lame, almost typical.

Robert came back to me and pressed his arms against the glass over my head.

Why was my heart pounding in my chest? Was I breathing?

He closed his eyes and brushed his nose, his lips, slowly up the side of my face. I remained in my unresponsive state.

I heard and felt him breathe through his parted lips, and then he in took air and kissed me.

The flame exploded, it roared, but what was feeding it?

I was pressed harder against the glass and my hands found his shoulders, then his neck and up to his jaw wanting to hold him there.

It was as if all I could suddenly feel was this fire, but something about it felt strange. There was something in his eager kiss that wasn't quite the same as before. It felt like he was taking more than he was giving.

Robert's hands were at my hips, so warm and soft against my cold skin. I shuddered slightly. His hands traced up my sides, then to my back and up my spine, pausing at my bra line then tracing underneath it.

I turned my head to the side, breaking away from him. He went to kissing my jaw, then in the hollow of my throat.

"What are you doing?" I asked weakly.

"What does it look like?" He murmured into the nape of my neck.

Then he took his hands under both of my thighs, lifting them and forcing me to bend my knees. He lifted me and wrapped my legs around his hips using the window to support me. I gasped at his closeness. I couldn't move out of the position he now had me in.

He grabbed my face with both of his hands and kissed me again, forcing my mouth open.

My entire body was now on alert and tense. The flame settled down and flickered, somewhat disappointed.

I tore away from him again.

"Robert." I protested.

His hands were under my shirt again, wrapping around my waist as he kissed my neck again, then my collarbone.

I pushed against them. "Stop. Put me down."

He didn't hesitate, let alone stop. "Why?" he asked.

"Because I'm not that kind of girl." I said bluntly and sounded angry though I wasn't...wasn't I?

This made him freeze. Suddenly I was practically dropped on the floor as he pushed away from me and I barely caught my footing.

"Then what kind of girl are you?!" he exploded, now six feet away from me, eyes wide, face red.

"Are you the adventure seeking reporter?! Yes, that's what you are." he began pacing a short distance while staring at me. He looked like a lion in a cage.

"You're the news reporter trying to get the scoop on Robert Pattinson and how to change the "bad boy." How to make him fall for you and then say how absolutely pathetic and foolish he was to fall for it!" he hollered. "Well, that's all over now." and he stormed out scooping his shirt off of the floor on his way without stopping.

I couldn't move. My ears were buzzing and my head spun and all I could do was stare in front of me where he had been.

I heard some doors slam, then the rev of an engine. After a moment I spun around just in time to see his car speed off down the road and out of sight.

My knees gave out under me and I fell to the floor, with one hand on the window in an attempt to stop myself.

Robert's words hit me like a thousand swords. They weren't true, but was he right in saying that my affections were fake?

Were my feelings for him non-existent or that invisible?

My eyes were looking at the floor and when they focused I noticed a red rose petal lying on the floor in between my collapsed legs.

I picked it up gingerly between my two fingers and then held it in my palm. I smelled it. Its scent was sweet, but traditional of a red rose. I finally took a look around the room.

It was large. It took up the entire second floor. Where the windows ended was a wall that had a small couch against it. Off center of the room was a bed with cream and soft blue colored sheets. There was other various furniture and doors and the carpet was the same cream color as the bed sheet.

All over every single surface lay rose petals, save the bed.

I knew I had been right in stopping him, but was I doing anything right by him? Doing anything good for him? Did I want him and care for him like he seemed to do me? Or was it just me being desperate, finding something to hold onto after being hurt so thoroughly? Did he deserve to suffer like this?

I struggled out of the leather jacket and got up slowly, tears now streaming down my face, and stumbled around the room. I found my suitcases and searched through them, finding my baggiest pajamas. I put them on and climbed into the bed, curling into a ball.

I knew he wouldn't be back for a while, which was good I had some things to figure out.