Post 9-Confessions, Christmas, and a Cat

<---New Flames

MERRY CHRISTMAS! HAPPY NEW YEAR! HAPPY HAUNUKAH OR WHATEVER IT IS YOU CELEBRATE!

A kind of belated Christmas gift for you guys that just happens to include a Christmas segment even as brief as it is.

As an interesting side note: We started writing this just about a year ago and we are now at 400 pages. I think we can say we've worked pretty hard this year. ^^

MUCH LOVE!

~Katherine & Mundell

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Eventually, many hours later, he hadn't returned and I gave in to sleep. When I awoke, a soft light lit the room and once I let my eyes focus I saw Rob sitting on the couch across from me.

He was bent over with his arms on his knees, hands clasped together, staring at me without seeing me.

I watched him waiting to see if he would acknowledge that he knew I was awake, but he remained still.

I slowly got out of the bed and went up to him. He still didn't look at me.

I sat down next to him on the couch and stared at the floor.

"Can you listen to me?" I asked.

No response.

I proceeded anyway.

I spoke slowly, carefully and somewhat hesitantly. I had to say this right.

"I know that I haven't...really shown or said if I care for you in anyway, but...you have to understand...understand my heart." I paused and looked him, he was still like stone. "It has been destroyed before." I continued. "It was dead, but you brought it back. And I've been so afraid. Afraid of getting hurt again, but anytime we've argued it's been my own fault and I've learned from it. And I'm afraid to trust you, to care, but I do so much. I'm scared to let you know me, but I want to tell you everything. And...and I'm afraid to love you, but I..." I hesitated to make sure with myself that it was true. "I think I love you."

He stared ahead.

"Rob, I-" I swallowed as everything began to close in and feel hot as the tears swam in my eyes."I love you with all that I am. And I'd never want to hurt you, and I'm so sorry that I did. Can you ever forgive me?" My voice broke and I had to look away. "If I've hurt you too much, I'll go away and never bother you again." I started to cry and tried to hide it.

"No." he said weakly.

He then pulled me into his arms burying my face in his shoulder.

"No," he said again, "I'm sorry. It was my fault." his voice cracked like mine had. "Don't go." He laid his head on mine as his voice fell into a whisper, "Please don't go. Stay." He swallowed hard before he spoke again with what sounded like a plea. "I love you."
 

Like electricity the words hit me and went through my body. Before I could process them, my body shook and I couldn't tell if it was him or I who caused it.

After some time we both calmed down, but stayed where we were. Eventually I looked up at his face to find his eyes closed, his mouth partially open and he was breathing softly.

I smiled and got up carefully. He needed sleep. Once I had stood up straight, Rob's face twitched, tilted to the other side, then went back to being undisturbed.

Walking away slowly I only investigated far enough to find the bathroom and shower. Deciding that that is what I should do, I quietly rummaged through my bags that Tristan had packed. I was relieved to find plenty of clothes and my soaps and, as a bonus, my large towel that I use for showers at home.

I gathered the items in my arms and went in the bathroom. It took me a few minutes to figure out how to use the shower, but I did. I cringed when it turned on due to the noise, but after a moment I climbed in, relaxing in the warm nearly hot water. Then I washed, my only concern being not disturbing him.

Once I was finished I dressed in jeans and a casual, but still nice, cream dress shirt sweater. I touched it off with a pair of white socks. Hair dry, I slinked out of the bathroom, peering around corners to see if I had woken him. When I tiptoed farther into the bedroom I found the massive wall of windows covered with curtains and the room was dark. Rob had moved and was now in the bed, still fast asleep and breathing evenly. Light was pouring out of the corner of the room and I went to it knowing that that was where the stairs had to be. I looked back behind me every time I made a sound to see if it bothered his rest until I couldn't see him anymore.

I was right about the stairs. They appeared right out of a somewhat small hole in the floor, the carpet continuing down them like water. They spiraled down in a small pillar shape down to the floor below. I held on to the metal rail as I carefully walked down feeling slightly dizzy. As the bottom floor came into view, I wondered if Robert had any cleaners or maids, or servants, or…whatever they were. I sure hoped he didn't, I didn't want to have to ask anyone for anything, or having to explain myself. I would much rather find things and struggle on my own without anyone the wiser.

It was much brighter once I made it about halfway down the steps. The same wall that was windows upstairs was downstairs as well, but open and bright with the rising sun on the green grass. A man walked by casually with his dog on the sidewalk, I watched him without feeling at all awkward. I knew he couldn't see me with these one way windows on the house.

I looked around to find this floor somewhat similar to the second as it was all one room, for the most part. The living room was carpet with a well sized TV that was set up against the wall where the couch was in the upstairs room. A small sofa faced it with a couple other love seats and chairs around it. I ventured farther going around the stairs to find that beyond the couch was a larger TV with an entertainment center. It had video games of all sorts, but also had a complete set of instruments for a band.

I turned to my right and wandered toward the stairs again seeing another entryway that led into kitchen. It was large and open just like the rest of the house with blue tile flooring. The cabinets and refrigerator were along the right wall and there was an island in the middle with a sink and a taller counter with stools. I looked toward the fridge again noticing a white spot against the dark clue out of the corner of my eye. I walked over to it to find that it was a note.

Help yourself.

-Rob

I smiled and opened the door. The first thing I laid eyes on was milk. Cereal, perfect. I searched the cabinets and found a box of Special K Red Berries. Once I located a bowl and spoon I filled it as much as I could and dug in, but eating slowly in case I unexpectedly went from being alone to accompanied.

I ate all of that then explored some more wanting something warm. I found a tea pot, a coffee maker, and coffee grounds, but the coffee stuff wasn't of any use to me and neither was the tea pot without hot chocolate.

Eventually I came across chocolate syrup, so I warmed up milk in a mug and then added the syrup. I placed myself on one of the stools in front of the island again and sat with my sleeves partially pulled over my hands wrapped around the cup. I was sipping it when I heard soft footsteps.

I glanced over the side of my cup to see Rob in the entryway. He walked over to the coffee maker and turned it on, then leaned with his back against the counter and watched me. I watched my hot chocolate swirl around as I drank more, glancing at him every once in awhile. He looked like he had also taken a shower and was now also wearing jeans and a light blue button up shirt that was unbuttoned with a nicely fitting white undershirt. Whereas I wore socks, he was barefoot. We minded ourselves and were silent, until he came and sat on another stool in front of me. He smiled.

"How'd you sleep?" I asked.

"Fine." He breathed out, looking somewhat like he was having to force his eyes open. "Did you eat?"

"Mmhmm. I saw your note. Thank you."

He nodded.

After another moment of silence I realized we had never completely finished our conversation.

My momentary calm vanished and my face fell into a sad scowl. I set my cup down and sighed. He looked up from his cup with slightly raised eyebrows.

I knew this had become an uncomfortable subject, but he had to completely understand.

"Do you know…" I began, trying to not seem stressed, but not too comfortable either. "Why I said no?"

"Because you didn't want to sleep with me." He answered, calm and certain, but sad.

I hesitated; somewhat surprised with his answer, pained that he thought that was the reason.

"Well, yes and no, but not for the reason I think your thinking."

He stared at the table top waiting for me to continue.

"It's not that I didn't want to. I did, and…do---You're a lot more tempting than you might think. It's just-I don't want to...yet." Was that enough of an explanation?

Rob looked like he was thinking about it while frowning at his coffee.

"W-when, then?" he looked up with a somewhat worried and embarrassed expression.

Okay…not enough then.

I sighed, but only a little, then bit my lip. "When…I'm married."

I glanced up to see his reaction, he had looked away.

"Oh." he said quietly.

I finished my drink, got up, and put it in the sink. I walked back over to him and hugged him from behind, putting my head over his shoulder.

"Does that bother you?" I asked quietly.

"No." he took my hand, "I find it very amiable actually." He looked me in the eyes to let me know of its truth.

I closed mine and put my forehead on his, relieved.

"Thank you." I nearly whispered.

"I love you." I choked out, barely able to speak as I was flooded with emotion. I knew I truly did love him. I really hoped he heard me.

"I love you too." He whispered back.

We spent the rest of the day mostly sitting around.

We had ended up eating breakfast really close to lunch so we didn't eat again until dinner time.

Rob insisted that he cook for me. I was somewhat scared.

I heard him fusing around in the kitchen and frowned, he had made me sit in the living room so that I couldn't watch him.

I had my arms folded on the back of the couch with my head on them. Every once in a while I blew air out of my bottom lip playing with a strand of hair that was dangling in my face out of frustration.

"Are you okay in there?" he hollered.

"Um…How does morbidly frightened sound?" I called back.

He laughed "Should I be insulted?"

"No, I'm just naturally paranoid when it comes to food."

"Paranoid? Of what? Poison?" he asked.

"No, just if I will like it or not." I said apologetically, "I'm extremely picky."

"Oh." He answered; I could hear the frown in his voice. He was worried now.

After another ten minutes or so he called me in there.

I knew my face was full of worry, but I wasn't worried about not liking the food, it was more about not being able to swallow it with my sensitive stomach and therefore insulting him.

Rob also had a slight frown, but tried to smile as I walked in.

Two plates sat on the counter and he was sitting where he had been before.

I sat on my stool, glanced at the food, picked up my fork, stuck it into a piece of the main dish, put it in my mouth and chewed keeping a locked stare with him.

I swallowed successfully and smiled.

"Awesome." I answered.

He smiled and began to eat his own with a chuckle.

The plate was loaded with cheese filled ravioli, boneless, skinless, chicken breast, and broccoli.

In between bites I told him how convenient it was that he happened to choose the things I was the most consistent in my diet: starch, cheese, chicken, and broccoli.

He laughed along with the irony.

We finished our meal every once in a while letting out a burst of giggles.

We went into the living room and sat on the couch after I demanded that I wash the dishes.

The television was on, but neither of us was really watching. I was so amazed by how real he was sitting next to me, with his arm around my shoulders. I knew these kinds of things didn't really happen, and yet it was happening to me. This strange, erratic, unpredictable man was with me and wanting me there. He wasn't perfect by far, but that's hardly something anyone could expect, but he seemed like he really wanted to try.

I looked at his face, half expecting it to no longer be there even though I could feel his body. His eyes were distant, face blank, when suddenly a smile slowly appeared as though he was pleased with a thought he just had. I wanted to ask him what appealed to him so much, but I didn't want to break this peace we were in. So, I left it alone.

The program that was on the TV ended and a yawn escaped from me.

Rob checked the time.

"It is a bit late. Maybe you should go to sleep." he said glancing down at me, my head was in his lap.

"What time is it?" I asked, stifling another yawn.

"Ten thirty." he took my hand that he was holding and put it to his neck.

That was later than I usually stayed up, but did any of that count now?

"Are you tired." by then he had moved my wrist to his lips.

"Well," he said breaking his trance. "I slept in this morning."

"Yes, but you didn't sleep all night." I reminded him.

"That's true." he agreed "I should probably catch up then. You go now and I'll go to bed soon."

"Okay." I sat up and stretched, then I turned on my knees and wrapped my arms around his neck putting our foreheads together again.

He stroked my cheekbone with his thumb while smiling at me.

I smiled back then kissed him lightly and went upstairs.

I dressed in my pajamas and curled up in the bed in the same place that I had the night before. I felt drowsy, but didn't pass into the void of sleep.

It was some time later when Rob came in. He came to the other side of the bed without speaking and reached for a pillow.

"What are you doing?" I asked with a thick tongue.

He looked at me surprised, almost as if I startled him.

"Getting a pillow..." he stared at me with wide eyes, "to sleep on the couch."

"Don't be silly." I frowned at him. "We can share the bed, just as long as you promise to behave yourself." I reached for him with my hand.

"Are you sure that's okay?" he asked hesitating.

"Again, that depends on if you behave." I smiled.

I took his wrist and began to pull him down on the bed. He didn't break my gaze as if unsure, but obeyed.

Rob lay down on his side facing me with a frightened look on his face, his arms close to his body as if he were uncomfortable.

I scooted closer and reached up, gently kissing the hollow of his throat. Then I turned over and left him alone.

The silence was worse in the dark and the energy swirling in between us burned my back forcing me awake and making my body stiffen. It continued on for what seemed like hours.

"Would it be immature...." Rob began in the dark. "If I started a pillow fight?"

I bit my cheek trying to stop my laughter.

"Yes," I answered grabbing a hold of the pillow under my head, "but who says we have to mature...all the time."

I nearly flipped myself into the air as I swung. Our pillows collided in between us and the battle began.

We went from sitting to standing and multiple times nearly falling off of the bed, laughter erupting from us all the while.

I grabbed one end of his pillow in my fist and twisted myself into it and into his arms and pulled on it.

"Hey! That's cheating!" he protested.

"Nope," I tugged harder, "No one set any rules." Then I yanked it out of his grip.

He stumbled a moment then I began hitting him with both pillows. He sank to the bed while laughing as I beat him into submission. We then both stayed there laughing so hard that we could hardly breathe.

Rob's hand wrapped around my ankle and he pulled it out from under me making me fall onto the bed with a gasp. I continued to laugh in my throat as he crawled over to me. With his head over me, he reached up and intertwined his fingers in mine next to my head. He gently touched my neck with a lingering kiss.

The tensing energy was back and the smile disappeared from my lips.

I took his face in my hand and brought to where I could see it. He looked back at me with his eyes sparkling.

"Is this enough?" I asked.

His expression broke for a minute and then he wrapped his arms around my waist and rolled to his side holding me to him. He left one arm around me and held my head to him with the other.

"Yes," he whispered into my ear. "This is more than enough."

Rob kissed me softly. I felt no threat at all, only tenderness and eventually our eyes closed for the night.

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I plopped down on the couch and swung my legs up over Katie's lap. Leaning back I rested my back against Joe. "So… What are we going to do for Christmas?"

Katie smiled. "I might be spending it with Rob."

I sighed. "My best friend got a boyfriend and now she'd to good to spend time with me…" I pouted out my lip and tried to be serious before I finally started laughing. "Just kidding Katie. That's cool."

The phone rang. "I'll get it." Katie jumped up.

I looked back at Joe. "So. What are you guys doing?"

"We have a performance down in L.A. Then we were just going to hang out down there. What are you doing Christmas eve?" He took my hand in his and stared at it.

"Well, I…" I looked up at him confused as he turned my hand over and traced my palm. "What are you doing?"

"Oh…" He turned my hand over again. "Just thinking."

"Of what?"

He looked back at me. "About what you're doing Christmas eve."

Smiling back I said, "I don't have any plans."

Joe looked deep into my eyes. "Ok." He said softly.

"What does that mean?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

Softly he kissed my forehead. "Nothing."

It was obvious he was up to something. But it didn't seem bad, and I had decided if I tried to catch him every time he was up to something, I would have to devote every hour of my day to it. So I just smiled and leaned my head on his shoulder.

Katie came back then and I raised my legs up as she plopped back down on the couch. She had my camera in her hands and a sly smile on her face.

I gave her a look that clearly said what are you doing but she just leaned over and said "Smile!"

For at least the next ten minutes the three of us laughed as we snapped different pictures of us. When we were done I had a good forty pictures on my camera.

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Rob and I sat on the couch while Joe and Tristan were in the kitchen. I was half turned around looking over the back of the couch and straining to see into the kitchen. I was really wondering what they were doing in there.

I sighed in frustration and plopped back down facing forward and Rob smiled at me. I smiled back, but was interrupted by a jingle.

Tristan's cat, Tia, was walking in front of the couch relatively close to our feet. She sat in front of my feet, looked at me, and meowed.

"Hi Ti-ti." I said softly, reaching out and starting to pet her head with my fingers.

She moved her head into my hand and began to purr softly.

"That's a cat." Rob said.

I laughed. "Yes, it is."

Tia jumped away suddenly for no reason at all other than that she was done.

"Or was…." I muttered.

"Where did she come from?" Rob asked, sounding very confused.

"Nowhere. She's Tristan's cat, Tia." I looked at him strangely. Had he never known about Tia this whole time?

"Tristan has a cat?!" Rob was truly shocked.

My laughing was starting to get louder as I realized what was going on.

"Oh! I get it. She's finally warming up to you Rob!" I patted him on the shoulder. "It took her a few years to warm up to me."

I started laughing again. I couldn't help it.

"Tristan!" I hollered with my hysterics. "He just saw Tia for the first time!"

Her guffaw erupted from the kitchen and I settled on the couch again, leaning onto Rob's arm and laying my head on his shoulder as my amusement began to die down.

A Mother and a Father--->