<---Part 9
I shifted the phone to my other ear, rolling my eyes and smiled at Joe. "Ya, Mom. I know, I know. Ya we'll be there." I slid my phone closed.
I shifted the phone to my other ear, rolling my eyes and smiled at Joe. "Ya, Mom. I know, I know. Ya we'll be there." I slid my phone closed.
"So." Joe said. "What's up at home?"
"Well…" I smiled, trying to be cute and persuasive. "How would you like to come home with me and meat my parents?"
Joe smiled happily. "Ok." He leaned back in his chair. "That sounds like fun. Why haven't we done that already?"
"I'm kind of scared to bring you home…" I admitted.
As I said this Joe furrowed his brow. He looked sort of hurt or offended. "Why?" His voice was soft.
"Joe…" I sat down next to him and put my hand on his shoulder. "It's not like that." Gently I brushed a piece of hair from his face and kissed his check.
"Well then what is it? If you're not ashamed of me, why are you afraid to have me meet your parents?"
"Well. My mom, actually. She never really liked the Jonas Brothers." I half smiled at him. "But she doesn't really know you. I'm sure it will work out."
His expression went from a blank stare to one of mild panic. "She doesn't like me?" He nearly whispered.
I laughed softly. "No silly. She doesn't know you." I nuzzled him with my nose.
He looked at me. "You sure it'll be ok?"
"Yes." I was convincing myself too. "She'll learn to like you if I do." Getting off the couch I went to get some snacks. When I got back I found Joe sitting with his chin resting on his hands. "You ok?"
"What if she doesn't like me?"
"Joe, it'll be fine." I sat next to him and handed him a bowl of popcorn. The humor was in the fact that I had intended him to comfort me about bringing him home, but now I was trying to reassure him.
"I have to make a good impression. What should I where?" He asked.
I smiled at him. "Anything but skinny jeans."
Horror flashed across his face. "But… then…" He turned to me. "Help me."
As hard as I tried I couldn't stop laughing. "Ya. I'll help."
A few days later I stood looking at Joe's closet. I was slightly dumbfounded. His closet was as big as, if not a bit bigger than, my room and filled with all kinds of clothes. "Joe…" I knew my mouth was hanging open but
I didn't care. "These are just your clothes?"
"Ya. Well, I might have one or two of Kevin or Nick's shirts but it's pretty much all mine." He smiled at me as he walked up behind me. "Do you like it?"
"Uh, Ya!" I took a step into the massive room.
"So what should I where?"
I looked at him. "You're kidding me, right? You want me to pick from all of this?" I pointed to everything around me.
He laughed. "Umhum."
Looking around I sighed and crossed my arms. "This is going to take me a while."
"Need my help?"
I brushed some hair from my eyes. Smiling I said, "Come back in an hour if I haven't come and found you."
Then I proceeded into the depths of the closet.
He left me alone with his multitude of clothes, shoes, hats, and other accessories. As I searched I could help but jokingly try things on. Within the hour I picked three outfits for Joe to choose from. I had also
tried at least twenty things on.
I was sitting on the floor next to one of the outfits when Joe returned. Looking up, I blushed as he walked in. I was wearing my t-shirt and jeans but I also had on one of his vests, a tie, a pair of his striped socks, and a hat. "Hi." I said, slightly embarrassed.
Joe smiled and leaned in the door frame. "That has to be the cutest thing I've ever seen."
"Oh…" I pointed my toe and gripped my knees. I bit my lip and looked up at him.
"So did you find me something to where?"
"Yep. Well, one of these three will be ok." I smiled up at him. Then I stood and strolled over to him. Taking the hat from my head I put it on his and furrowed my brow. "No." I took it back. "It looks better on me."
He laughed and wrapped his arm around my waist.
-----
Robert had his head bent over in my bathroom sink. Warm water was running out of the faucet and I was scrubbing the shampoo out of his hair.
He gave a fake sigh and then chuckled.
I laughed, "Almost done." I assured him.
The doorbell rang.
I popped my head out the bathroom door. "Come on in!" I hollered.
"Is that Sam?" he asked as I turned off the water.
"Must be." I answered grabbing a towel and drying my hands.
Sam was Robert's best friend and he had assisted me in finally convincing Robert to actually wash his hair. Robert would only agree if I were the one who washed it. I rolled my eyes remembering his expression. Sam had gone to the store to get some moose or hair gel to try and do something with Robert's hair when we were finished.
Robert flung his head up out of the sink showering me and most of the bathroom with water.
"Hey!"
Water ran down his back as he laughed out loud. I threw another towel at his head. He took it and began drying his hair as he walked out of the bathroom. I turned and started to dry the walls.
"Tristan'll kill you if this ruins anything." and I began laughing again.
"Hey Sam what'd you-" he stopped in the middle of his sentence.
I looked out the door and couldn't see him. So I put down the towel and walked out.
Robert was standing stalk still staring at the person in the living room. I stopped behind him and froze.
It wasn't Sam.
Whether my heart stopped or began to beat so fast that it became numb, I couldn't tell.
Michael Dotson stood in the middle of my living room on the other side of the couch. He looked confused and shy, but perked up when our eyes met. His features were exactly the same as they were in my memory of more than two years ago, but he was a complete stranger to me. I had never really known him in the first place.
"Hey." he gave a somewhat pathetic smile.
My heart propelled to the back of my rib cage as hard is it could, if I wasn't frozen I would have staggered. His voice echoed in my head as memories flashed by, I didn't want to see any of them.
Neither Robert nor I responded.
Michael frowned. "Am I interrupting something?"
"Yes." Robert said curtly as I answered, "No," I frowned curiously at Robert. "We were just finishing up." I said.
I smiled softly at Michael. "Um...why don't you sit down?" I started to walk forward surprised that my legs could move.
I was walking passed Robert when he gently grabbed my wrist. I looked at his face, his expression was angry and concerned at the same time.
"Why don't you go finish drying off?" I said to him.
He looked like he was going to refuse and I squeezed his wrist gently.
He sighed frustrated through his nose and walked away toward my room where some of his spare clothes were. I knew he wouldn't be gone for long.
I went to sit in the living room and was grateful that Michael had taken the lone chair. I could sit on the couch and not get too close without it seeming obvious.
I really didn't know what to say and I was extremely worried about why he was here.
After a while of silence and both of us studying our hands or the floor he glanced up at the same time I did.
"How are you?" he stammered.
It took me a second to answer, "I'm all right. School, work." I shrugged.
He nodded.
"So, how have you been?" I asked with worried eyes. I wanted to know, but I was also afraid of his answer.
"Okay." He said without looking up.
Silence again.
I bit my lip and looked around the room trying to think of something to say.
He looked about as awkward as I felt.
There was a crucial question I wanted to ask, but I was hesitant; it could lead to the subject I was sure we were both avoiding or frightened of.
"Why are you here?" I let the words through my lips having no other option.
He and I looked up, but still not at me. He was still staring at the carpet, but his eyes were distant.
"A...number of reasons." he finally said.
Then he got up out of the chair. "I'll go get one of them."
Before I could question or protest, he was back out of the front door.
What could he possibly-
A different memory came to me of a dream I had had once years ago...
Panic began to rise in my chest, but I pushed it back and replaced it with somewhat removed sadness. I had no reason to care anymore.
Robert emerged then, "Is he gone?" he asked strain still visible on his face.
I shook my head. At that instant the door opened again and Michael walked in.
"Katie, I'd like you to meet Luke."
I stood and walked toward him as he reentered the living room and met him in the middle. In his arms was the brown-haired child from my dream, but he wasn't the infant I had seen.
Michael held Luke out to me and I took him gingerly. Once he was securely in my arms, I turned my back on the rest of them and walked over to the couch keeping my eyes on the small life form in my arms.
Luke stared at me curiously studying everything about me within his vision. Then with tiny hands he reached out and grabbed hold of my necklace with one, the other he took a lock of my hair.
I smiled brightly at him. "Hi." I cooed.
He grinned at me with a nearly toothless grin and I saw the faces of his grandmother and father. His hazel eyes lit up.
I sat down on the couch not moving my gaze.
"How old is he?" I nearly whispered.
"Almost two years." came the answer.
I continued to smile as Luke tugged on my hair a little.
"Is he...yours?" I asked although I was already pretty sure of the answer.
"Yeah."
I couldn't help but smile brighter.
"He's beautiful." my voice broke as the tears overwhelmed me.
I was crying for many reasons, but the only one I would ever admit to myself or anyone else was the beauty and miracle of the little child.
I kissed his soft head and a few drops fell on his head. I wiped them off.
There was an incoherent mumble and I looked up just in time to see Robert punching Michael in the face.
I was too stunned to react and so was Michael. Robert was speaking again and furiously in a language I didn't understand. Then Michael answered him in the same tongue. I could only assume that it was German.
They grabbed each other's shirts and before I could say anything the fight broke out.
"Stop it."
My voice was weak as they kept hitting each other, all the while yelling and hissing at the other. I couldn't understand a word they were saying.
Robert tackled Michael and the both fell to the floor. Once he got Robert off of him he jumped to his feet again.
Luke made a distressed sound in my lap. This wasn't good for him. I set him on the floor safely and then stood up. As horrified as I was, I knew this had to stop.
They were less than a foot from each other breathing in quick short bursts, glaring and fuming.
I walked over and stood in between them facing Robert.
"Robert, stop it now." I looked at him seriously, but he wouldn't look at me.
"Just let us deal with this." Michael said behind me and took hold of my arm and began to move me out of the way.
"Don't touch her!" Robert snarled, jumping forward pushing him away, but knocking me down with Michael instead.
I fell on top of him and he caught me holding me there. It shook my head a little too much, so I stayed were I was with my eyes closed, trying to make sure I wasn't dizzy when I opened them.
When I did I was looking straight into Michael's shocked face.
Had this happened three, maybe two, years ago and our faces were that close, I would surely have been overwhelmed by the desire to close that distance.
Michael stared, I blinked. Neither of us was breathing.
"I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" Robert said walking toward us.
I got up slowly.
"I'm fine." I said, purposely sounding frustrated.
Robert came and put his arms around me, muttering more apologies as Michael began to stand.
"Are you two done?" I asked straightening my shirt.
Robert scowled at the floor like he was trying to set it on fire.
"Not really." Michael muttered.
"Why not?" I calmly demanded.
"You don't know what he said." Michael answered his voice shrill.
"Oh, grow up!" I turned on him.
"Katie, do you understand-" Robert began.
"Yes," I interrupted "Yes, Robert I do understand." I made my voice calm. "I've known for a long time now."
"You knew?" Robert asked, stunned.
Michael looked away.
"I at least guessed as much. And I had had a dream about Luke." I picked him up off of the floor and sat back down on the couch. He had been content with the carpet.
"Michael," I said sweetly getting him to look at me. "You haven't finished telling me why you're here."
Michael closed his eyes and sighed. Robert watched me, still stunned. I motioned him to sit next to me and he came stroking Luke's head for a moment when he did.
Michael sat in the chair again.
"I missed you." He started; I kept my eyes on Luke slipping my thumbs in his tiny hands.
"But I knew I had messed up way too much to even ask for your forgiveness,"
"That's not true," I interrupted, but he didn't hear me.
"But I thought you deserved to know." We looked at each other then, and knew from his expression that this was hard for him, I had seen it before.
Michael spent the next hour telling me about his life the past three years. Robert stayed next to me supportively and didn't comment, which I was grateful for.
"I'm sorry." He finished.
"I do forgive you Michael, but-"
"But you don't love me anymore, do you?" he finished and he wouldn't look at me.
I didn't answer right away, but when I did it was the truth.
"Not the same way I had in the beginning. I mean, I still care. I don't hate you or anything, I just don't love you. But I still want you to have the best of everything including yourself. I want you to be happy."
Neither Michael nor Robert responded, so I continued.
"It never could have been the same anyway. After the first time I doubted you; lost my trust. It wouldn't have worked. We wouldn't have been truly happy." I was almost beginning him to say something; I was so worried that I was hurting him. "I messed up too, when we were fighting and after too. I also had to deal with rumors and accusations those few years and some were hard to deny. Eventually I was pretty sure you had stopped waiting, but I let myself hang on to hope no matter how ridiculous or horrible that final rumor was. I was still so blind to everything hanging on to the past that I knew deep down could never be again. Then in the first semester of my senior year it was like I woke up. I hadn't done anything I was just sitting on my grandparents' couch and I realized that I felt different." I looked up at the ceiling remembering the feeling. I breathed, "It was like a weight had suddenly disappeared off my shoulders, it surprised me. And I sat there figuring out why I was feeling so free. I just sat there for a long time searching through all the things that had been weighing me down, nothing was different, but something inside me had changed. Then I saw your face in my head and felt nothing. No anxiety, no longing. I knew that was it. I wasn't worrying about you. You...weren't at the forefront of my thoughts anymore."
By now Luke had fallen asleep in my lap and sighed in his sleep.
"I wasn't tied to you anymore. I don't know what caused it; if it was time, or realization of your actions, or realizing that I had a bigger dream or needed something more. I just found myself there."
There was silence once I finished.
"Are you happy?" Michael asked finally looking me in the eyes.
"Are you?" I asked because a part of my peace depended on his wellbeing.
He sat up and gazed at the ceiling, pondering.
"Yes." he answered, his eyes resting on Luke.
I smiled, proud of his reason, holding Luke's small and warm body to my chest.
"I am too." I said.
Robert took my hand and stroked the back of it with his thumb.
"Good." Michael said standing. "I should be getting Luke home and fed."
I stood too and carefully handed Luke to him. "How's your dad?" I asked.
Michael smiled to himself, "Oh, he's fine."
"That's all I needed to know."
Michael turned to walk away as Robert came to my side. Michael stopped and looked back at me from the corner of his eye, smiled and turned his head away. We followed him to the door.
"Maybe we could get everyone together sometime." Robert said.
"Yeah, sure." Michael answered.
"Same number right?" I asked.
He laughed, "Yeah."
"I'll give you a call sometime." I assured him. "Take care of everyone."
Michael was heading toward his car and waved without turning around, Luke still completely out on his shoulder.
I turned and went back inside. Robert closed the door behind me. I laid my hand on the back of the couch and held the keys around my neck. Robert wrapped his arms around me again.
"Are you okay?" he asked softly.
"Yeah." I said. "Want to know how I know?"
"Mmhmm." he answered putting his cheek against my own.
"When we fell and I was that close to him and touching...I felt nothing. But when you're that close," I took his hand and put it on my other cheek. "And when you touch me..." I didn't need to finish, he understood what I meant.
I reached back and removed my keys, setting them down on the nearby table. Then I turned around in his arms to see him smiling warmly at me.
Sam walked in then, but neither of us noticed. My hands were in his clean hair as I kissed him and I felt perfectly fine, perfectly happy.
