Part 5: Connections

<---Before
 

 Hey! For the last segment of this part (there are four) there is a fitting song that we discovered. It is Here is Gone by The Goo Goo Dolls. Check it out!

Rollin' rollin' rollin'.

~K.&M.

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The door across the hall swung open and voices echoed off the walls.

"Time to go!" Joe started replacing the papers.

"I thought you said it was alright for us to be here."

"Well…" Joe scrunched up his face.

"Joe!" I slapped his hand away as he reached for my shoulder, "We broke in?!"

"Shhh…." He started rushing me out the back doors. "No we didn't break in. They just aren't expecting us… right now… or any time in the near future."

He grabbed my hand and started pulling me down the back halls. We were somewhere deep in the building when we stopped. Joe caught my eye and we both started laughing. His recklessness was somehow intriguing.

"So…." I started.

"Hey you kids!" Someone yelled at us.

Joe grabbed hand again and started pulling me along with him. As we ran he threw his head back and laughed. For some unknown reason I joined the laughter. It was as if his laugh could reach down inside me and made me giddy.

We turned a corner and saw an exit door straight ahead. Cold air hit us as we rushed outside. I looked around as we caught our breath.

We were in an outdoor hallway and at each end I could see that the rain had picked up. Joe put his arm through mine and slowly we started walking out to the end of the hall. We were sure we had lost the guy who had seen us until the door behind us swung open.

Both of us started running, strait out into the pouring rain. When we emerged we found ourselves on the far side of the parking-lot.

I was headed straight towards the car but suddenly Joe grabbed my arm and swung me around into a small hallway. He pushed me to the wall roughly and stood very close in front of me. One of his hands was on the wall above my head and he put the other to my lips. His face was next to mine and as I stood there, With Joe so close to me, my heart started to pound.

Joe smiled crookedly as two men ran past our small hiding place. Once they passed Joe backed off a bit.

I breathed a small sigh of relief and started to slide out form the hallway. Very suddenly Joe grabbed my hand, spun me around, and pulled me to him. One of his hands was on the small of my back holding my body against his.

His face was close to mine and his fast breath was warm on my skin. Very slowly he leaned in and brought his lips to mine.

I could feel every cold rain drop that hit my skin but none of it mattered. My blood was on fire. It burned with an intensity I had never known before. My lungs burned, telling me I needed air but I didn't mind.

After a few seconds Joe pulled away slowly and I let out a small gasp. Hey smiled down at me. "Wow."

I couldn't get any words to form or come out but finally I mumbled "Ya. Wow"

He kissed me again. This time I wasn't as surprised and I was able to kiss him back.

After a minute he released his tight hold on me. Instead he held me to his side as we walked back to the car. Once we were safely inside Joe started laughing.

"What?" I asked, my cheeks flushing red. Why was he laughing?

"Nothing. Just thinking about how those guys are going to react thinking someone broke in… Maybe I should call and tell them it was-"

I cut him off. "But we did." I looked at him puzzled. "We did break in."

He gave a small chuckle. "They wouldn't have minded."

"Then-" I pondered for a minute "-why did we run?"

Joe smiled and leaned back in his seat. "It was more… exciting."

I shook my head and looked back out the windshield. "You're horrible!"

"Oh come on! You had fun… and besides…" He stopped so I turned to look at him.

The breath caught in my throat as a lump formed there. Joe's face was inches from mine, his breath warm on my cheek. Gently he placed a hand to my face and his touch burned and I could feel the color rise in my cheeks. Forcing myself to breathe slowly, and force down the lump, I tried to appear calm, though my heart raced and my blood pounded in my ears. As I took in a breath his sent filled my nose, heightening the experience.

"Besides," He continued. "That out there in the rain was pretty amazing." He slowly pressed his lips to mine again.

I felt like my whole body exploded in a raging fire that over took even my thoughts. Intensely, I returned his kiss, fighting the urge to throw myself onto him.

Then, as quickly as the fire had erupted it faded as Joe pulled away. I was left felling like smoldering charcoals lay in the bottom of my stomach and with a chilled spot on my cheek where Joe's hand had been. He started the car and as he turned to back out he caught a glimpse of my stunned face and a small smile danced on his lips.

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I laid down on the carpet as he sat on the sofa. I frowned slightly when I saw how Robert did not try to hide the way his eyes were looking me up and down.

"Hey." I said suddenly, sitting up. My voice was stern, but not cruel.

His eyes flashed to mine and then lowered below them.

"Your concentration is my face." I said, then pointing to my eyes with two fingers I continued, "Especially here, okay? Just as mine will be."

He frowned, still not meeting my gaze, "I can't really..." he began trying to look me in the eyes again, but I was the one who looked away this time.

"I know." I said gently. Then with great effort I looked at him. "It's something I have to work on too." I smiled and then jumped up and away into the kitchen before my fear overwhelmed me.

 ..........................

The light was red, and there was no sign of us continuing on soon. I figured I might as well get some practice in.

"Rob," I said quietly. He glanced for a moment. "Look at me."

Slowly he turned his head and our eyes locked. I forced myself to stay put and not turn away, but after a few seconds it wasn't hard anymore.

I was drawn into his eyes, wanting nothing more than to stay like that and fall into their depths and to understand the volumes that they spoke to me. And it seemed like I was falling straight into them. What I didn't realize was that they were just getting closer. It wasn't until they disappeared behind the curtains that were his eyelids did I feel his breath on my lips. Not until my own eyes began to close did I comprehend what was happening.

A horn blared behind us and we were both startled from our stupor. The light was green and Rob blared forward.

A tense silence followed, and an awkwardness hung in the air as my face burned and my head slowly registered his scent.

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It was dark inside his car as we sped down the highway. I mostly looked out the window as I usually did in a car, but I couldn't help but peer at him every once in a while.

He was relaxed, with a confident smirk. It was soft, but still a smirk nonetheless.

It was the second time he was actually taking me out and I wasn't sure what he had in mind. His grin had the potential to make me worry, but I was doing everything in my power not to speculate too much.

"What does it mean?" he asked.

"Hmm?"

"Your necklace," he said glancing at my hand that the little keys around my neck were grasped in.

"Um..." I started.

Did I really want to go there?

"They're kind of a good luck charm I guess." I didn't look at him.

"Are they a set?" he asked.

"Yeah, each key has a set." I answered biting my lip. This was getting close.

"Do they open anything?" he sounded confused.

"No."

"Where is the other set?"

Shoot.

"I..." I hesitated, but something inside me wanted to tell him. Something wanted me to lay out my past, all my pain, my heart, my life on the table in front of him and to entrust him with it. But... I had to show some control.

"I gave them to someone once." I said.

He waited silently for me to continue.

"To hold onto, but he...he never gave them back."

There was a small twinge in my heart; it lasted for only a second.

I sighed and glanced his way, his mouth was in a line, his eyebrows furrowed slightly. He didn't understand. 

Did I owe it to him to explain? Not everything. Not yet.

"Why?"

I could tell by the tone of his voice that he at least understood that this was a gentle manner.

I let out some held breath and began my voice shaky. "I met someone a couple of years ago, and I really cared about him."

I paused, making sure I could go on, I felt sick. He didn't comment.

"My parents interfered and then he...broke my heart. After a few months we began to fix things when they interfered again saying we couldn't see or speak to each other until I was eighteen. I...gave him the keys as a reminder, or a reassurance for me that he'd think of me at least every once in a while. I...never saw him again."

There. I had said it. At least a very condensed version.

"I see." he said his voice solemn.

He reached out and moved a clump of my hair over my shoulder. "We'll have to work on that now won't we?"

Instantly it was like a shiver ran through me, but only on the inside. I felt my face redden, tighten, and my eyes watered slightly. I desperately wanted to change the subject. Did I regret telling him what I had? No. But my emotions had had enough for one day.

"Where are you taking me anyway?" I demanded.

He chuckled. The sudden change in the mood made me look at him. He was smiling, his almost impossibly white teeth blaring, it made my stomach flip.

"Umm..." he said still smiling, still chuckling. He licked his lips. "I was thinking we could check out some of the local clubs."

"Clubs?" I asked astonished. Not quite sure if I heard him right.

"Mmhmm."

"As in a club with skanky girls and drinking." It wasn't a question really, I wasn't sure if he had entirely known what he was suggesting.

"Well, the other girls part won't matter since you're with me, but yeah." he still wore his calm confident facade.

"Robert," I said using his full name to make sure he was listening. "You can't take me to a club. I'm only eighteen."

"Oh, don't worry. I'll get you in."

"No, you won't." I was trying to stay calm, but I could feel my voice beginning to rise. Did he honestly believe this was okay?

His face fell all calmness gone. "Why not?"

"Because I have no intention of drinking, tonight or ever."

"Nobody said you had to-"

I cut him off my voice going overboard, "And I don't plan to sit and watch you drink either!"

My chest was tight and he stared at me with a stunned expression.

"Please take me home." my voice was weak and broken, showing the sadness that I was beginning to feel, begging him with wet eyes.

Our stare was broken by a blaring car horn as it whizzed past us. I faces darted forward seeing the oncoming wall of the bridge curved bridge he was supposed to be following. He swerved out of the way and almost into the other lane. There were more irritated honks.

We both breathed heavily for a moment and once I was over the shock I asked, "Are you going to take me home?"

His mouth was set in a tight frown.

"Robert, you have to take me home!"

Red and blue lights flickered behind us and a siren blared for a moment. He didn't say a word as he pulled over.

The officer came to the window and he rolled it down. I didn't look at Robert as the flashlight scanned the inside of the car.

"Had a bit to drink tonight?" the officer asked, trying to sound calm and forceful at the same time.

That pushed me over the edge again. "Not yet." I said sternly and stormed out of the car.

My arms were folded around my middle trying to hold it all in.

"Miss?" the officer called behind me.

I didn't turn around and went and stood by his cruiser using all my strength to keep myself from crying.

After a few minutes he came over to me, but kept his distance. "Are you alright miss?" he asked gently.

"Could you just take me home please?" I was starting to get tired of saying it.

"Sure." he said as if he wasn't sure. "Okay," he said as he opened the passenger door and I climbed in.

Once I sat down I heard his Mustang screech as it sped off.

"Where to?" the officer asked once he got in.

I told him and he didn't ask a single question during the whole drive, which I appreciated. I continued to squeeze myself.

"Thank you." I mumbled quietly as I climbed out once we were in front of Tristan's and my place.

My arms didn't release their hold, but tightened as a cold wind bit at me. I opened the door and closed it quietly once I was inside. I began to walk down the hall towards the living room, but stopped in my tracks having just caught the reflection in the mirror hanging on the wall facing the living room.

We had originally hung it there as a sort of joke. So that we were proper and perfect with a smile while entering and leaving the house.

I wasn't smiling now.

Tristan was home, as I knew she would be. She was sitting on the sofa with the TV on, but she wasn't alone. Joe was sitting next to her with his arm around her shoulder, she was cubbied into his side comfortably, gentle, smiling, happy.

The hope that I had had and how I had begun to believe in Robert fell landing with a scraping crash in the pit of my stomach. I let out a small gasp.

"Katie?" Tristan called from the living room I could hear her shift on the couch over my stifled whimpers.

I laid my forehead on the wall wanting to hide my face. Neither of them needed to see this.

I sensed her having come closer to me, then the feeling went away.

"You probably should-" she began quietly in the other room.

"That's my queue." Joe said. He got off of the couch.

I glanced at the mirror again just in time to see him kiss her gently on the forehead.

This brought the tears on again, hot a fresh.

I felt a small breeze as he walked passed me out softly out the door. The moment it closed I felt Tristan's hands on my shoulders forcing me to face her.

"What happened?" she asked, worry and a slight tinge of anger in her voice.

I shook my head biting my lip and opening my eyes looking passed her at the wall that was a blurry swirling mass of white.

I gently pulled myself away from her and went straight to my room. I didn't turn on the light just kicked my shoes off as fast as I could almost falling and clambered into my bed.

A moment later Tristan slowly sat on the bed and pulled my hair out of my face then stroked it gently not saying a word.

It took a while, but eventually I calmed down.

"Tristan." I said. My voice was dry so it hardly came out, but she still heard me.

"Yeah?"

She had stayed with me, patient until I was ready.

"You have to promise me no name calling, or shouting rules or demands or whatever. Please let me deal with this and just be there to support me when I need or ask for it."

"What else would I be like?" she asked sweetly, but I knew what she could be like.

"Like your mom." I answered.

She snorted having tried to hold in her laugh and then I told her what had happened.

She sighed when I was finished with her eyes closed shaking her head.

"I'm worried about him though." I continued, "And I've decided that how I behaved wasn't what I should have done. We need to discuss this maturely instead of arguing."

She nodded in agreement.

"So...if he...hasn't called by four I'm going to call and check on him."

"Okay." she said. "So what should we do while we wait?"

We sat on the couch drinking hot chocolate trying to stay awake while playing made-up games with Apples to Apples cards. I wasn't really into it as much as I could have been. It was after three and he still hadn't called.

Tristan was laughing at the couple of cards I'd just laid down when the phone rang.

Both our heads snapped up to where it sat on the small table against the wall behind us.

After the second ring I got up slowly and walked over it. It rang one and a half more times before I picked it up.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Heeeyyy ther yer are." Robert's voice was thick and slurred I didn't need to ask why.

"Hey Rob."

"Youer wer reallllyyy mad at mee." he continued he sounded a little sad, but only a little.

"No, I wasn't mad." I answered calm, removed. "I was disappointed. Just really disappointed."

"That's not much different." I could hear the frown and the furrow of his eyebrows in his voice.

This was not the time for this conversation. I was about to say something else when he interrupted me.

"I'm sory." he said.

That took me by surprise and made me hesitate. After a moment I gained my strength again.

I sighed. "How are you getting to your hotel?"

"Innn mmyy carrr." he answered with an 'Obviously' tone.

"No you're not." I answered. "I'm coming to get you."

He didn't argue.

"Tristan. We have a star to pick up." I said as I grabbed the keys.

I stayed on the phone with him until he told me where he was and I made him promise to stay put.

Tristan didn't argue or comment and neither did I.

We pulled into the parking lot where he was. A light fog had rolled in, so we had to get closer than we would have normally to see him sitting on a short brick wall that circled a planter of some pushes. He had his head between his knees, but I knew it was him; he was now wearing that goofy hat.

Blue and white lights shone on his back from the window as I walked up to him. He looked up as I got closer his face red, his eyes glossy. His mouth was set in a stubborn frown and he didn't speak. I bent over and my hair swung in front of my face, I moved it to one side.

"Hey." I said sweetly with a small smile. He just looked at me.

I brushed back a strand of hair that had fallen out of his hat over his forehead. "Come on."

He went to stand and wobbled; I wrapped my arm around his waist and put his arm over my shoulder before he fell over. He was hot. I could feel that even through his thick coat.

We hobbled over to his car and I left him by the passenger side letting him support himself with the car and held my hand out for the keys.

He handed them to me without meeting my gaze and I strutted over to the driver's side quick, business-like. He got in once I unlocked the door and put his seat belt on. Then he folded his arms and turned away from me, reminding me of an angry child.

I began to drive away and it took me a few minutes to get used to the touchy acceleration of his new Mustang. Tristan followed behind us.

We ended up at a hotel that wasn't necessarily five star quality and I wondered if Robert had done that to try and stay undercover. I got out once I parked in front of his door and went and opened it, then came back for him. He was trying to get out of the car and was doing better than he had been before, but not well enough to do it on his own.

I began to help him inside and Tristan parked beside us. This time while my arm was around his waist I caught a slightly stale sent about him. It wasn't strong enough to bother me, but I didn't like it either.

We made it inside and I left the door open taking him directly to the bed where I sat him on the edge. I helped him take off his jacket and I went and laid it over the arm of the couch that was under the window. When I had turned around Robert had laid down with his head against the headboard, neck bent, chin against his chest. I walked over and bent over him, taking off his hat and moving his hair out of his face. He stared at me while I did this. I was reminded of the angry infant again. Once I finished and met his gaze he darted his eyes away.

"What?" I asked softly.

He turned his head away.

Was he ashamed of himself or angry at me?

I figured I'd let him figure it out. So, I went to the bathroom and found a glass and filled it with water coming back into the room and laying it on the nightstand next to the bed.

I stood back and looked at him. He still wasn't looking at me, but the red of his face had toned down a little.

"Get some sleep." I said, figuring that would set him right by midday. I headed for the door.

"Wait." he said once I made it into the doorway. I stopped and stood there, waiting.

"Don't go."

I did not turn around or respond, but walked out the door and to Tristan's car window. She rolled it down and I leaned in.

"He wants me to stay here." I told her.

She turned and stared in front of her like she wanted to say something, but was holding it in.

"I'll be fine." I said.

She sighed yet again and handed me her phone.

I understood.

I nodded and went back inside, closing the door behind me.

Robert was staring at me again with a worried expression it molded into shock then frustration as he threw himself over on the bed burying his face in the pillow and letting out a frustrated groan.

He just stayed there like that and I stayed where I was, watching him. After a few minutes I was starting to feel tired so I sat on the sofa. As soon as I did that he began to mumble words that were incoherent.

I had already removed myself, so I just let him deal with whatever battle he was going through. Sometime later he quieted down and I allowed myself to lie down and get some rest. As soon as my head hit the cushion I was out, Tristan's phone still in my hand.

The first sounds I heard were some shuffling, then footsteps. I squeezed my eyes tighter trying to ignore it. It seemed like only a moment later that I heard a door close more footsteps and then I could feel a great deal of warmth flowing to my back and over it. An even warmer hand was suddenly on my face. I opened my eyes and met Robert's piercing gaze. He was no more than an inch from my face.

He searched my eyes tenderly but still intensely.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he whispered.

His breath was hotter than his skin it made me intake breath, his scent over powered me.

"It never came up." my voice was just as quiet.

"What makes you disapprove?" he looked away and it sounded like he almost didn't want me to answer.

"I think," I started slowly watching his face. "That anything that causes a change in someone's behavior, judgment, or damages their body in any way is not good for anyone. There is no benefit. Only regret."

I could see in his eyes that he was thinking over what I had said. I didn't look away, just waited.

"Did you know I did these things before you met me?"

I nodded.

"Then if you knew about those things that disgust you so thoroughly, why did you agree to start seeing me?" he nearly hissed looking at me again with fire in his eyes.

"Curiosity." I answered, he whipped his head away. "And I wasn't going to let pictures, tabloids, or videos tell me what kind of person you were."

"And?" he challenged.

"Your behavior was pretty lousy last night." I said truthfully. Then I was softer. "But so was mine."

"Why did you stay?" his voice was a whisper again.

"Because I believe in people's ability to change...and chances."

He faced me again his expression making me think he didn't believe me. Then the mask cracked and his face softened. He began to close his eyes and lean in closer to me.

I felt a pull, it was familiar and yet...completely different. My entire body, entire consciousness tightened. Was I afraid? Was I afraid of how it would feel? Where it would go from there? Or if he would want to do it again?

Our lips met once, gently and he hesitated, breathing. He must have felt my reluctance. He tried again, a third, a fourth time then let the last linger. It took a moment for the feeling to reach my heart, cold as stone, dead and broken. But it did.

Like lightning from a dark sky my heart was struck. It breathed, it lived, it was free.

I kissed him back.

It seemed to take him by surprise for a moment, but once he realized he had been accepted he kissed me in earnest, almost fiercely. His hand slid from my face to the back of my head, his fingers in my hair.

He let out a small moan and opened my mouth with his lips.

I felt so liberated, almost like I was flying, but I could also have been falling. The power or energy that had begun to build up inside me seemed as if it was about to reach its peak when it suddenly disappeared.

I opened my eyes to see Roberts', bright. He smiled.

"I can do that." he said gently kissing my forehead. "I will change."

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